[Clarion West 2K1, Week 1 continued]

I didn't write a thing on Tuesday night. After running out of things to do to procrastinate, I decided that it was a mighty fine time to go to bed at around 11:30pm (very early for me). I got what amounts to a full night's sleep, getting up at around 7am on Wednesday.

I managed to write two paragraphs for my new story (ultimately entitled "Diffusion") before heading off for class.

Because we had four stories to critique instead of three, Octavia opted to just have us crit rather than have a lecture. We managed to wrap up around noon or one or so. I made a bee-line for "home" (the dorm) after picking up lunch supplies at the grocery store. Made and ate lunch in my room while I plowed through the four stories for critique. Finished around 5pm or so, ate dinner, and started work on "Diffusion" in earnest.

Somehow, somewhere along the way, I managed to plot out the entire story in my head amidst all of the critiquing and classwork and procrastination. In fact, it became obvious yesterday that I had to read and crit my fellow writers' stories before working on my own, if only because I'm learning so much by seeing what they are doing well and traps that we're all falling into.

I was surprised at how things came out when I sat down to type. Usually, I write my short stories first in outline form and then fleshing out the outline. Not this time. I just sat down and typed. What I ended up handing this morning (I am typing this entry on Thursday afternoon) was a first draft in the truest sense.

The first scene took a couple of hours. The second one took maybe an hour and a half. Each successive scene went faster. By midnight, I had written maybe 2,500 words (having started at 5 or 6pm). Three hours later, I had finished the 4,800 word rough draft. It was brilliant. I re-read it and made a few corrections and changes, and realized that this was indeed brilliant work. People would read this and cry over how beautiful and poignant the story was. I went to bed at around 3 am, set my alarm to allow myself four hours sleep, and fell asleep knowing that I had truly managed to crank out exactly the kind of story I had wanted to write.

And, then I woke up.

Thursday morning, 7:30 am, my back-up alarm went off. Turns out that I'd forgotten to actually turn on my primary alarm. Rushed out of bed and showered, running over the story in my head, and realized that I was about to turn in the worst piece of crap imaginable.

Well, not quite as bad as the infamous "Viking Sex" story that has made the rounds here, but maybe the second worst submission. It's maudlin. The murder ends up being more implied than directly observed; the Poe-esque elements had been replaced by hokey corn-ball melodrama. In short, I had created a monster and had no time left at all to come up with something better. I didn't even have time to print up an old trunk story, "just in case".

[sigh]

Class today was again focused primarily upon critique. I handed in my pathetic excuse for a story, and received it along with three other stories to be read and critiqued by tomorrow. As I type this, I've finished my crit work for tomorrow and I'm ready to go out and grab some dinner.

Before I sign off, though, I want to mention two other things that I think are important. I'm glad I got a full night's sleep at least one night this week, but yesterday's experience truly was exhilarating. From the time I started writing to the time I finished, I was awake and alert throughout. No sluggishness. By the time I went to bed, I was still too wound up to fall immediately asleep. Since getting up this morning, I've been likewise charged all day. This is cool. As long as "Diffusion" is in any way salvageable, it was time and energy very well spent.

One last thing: many of my fellow Clarionites are very sensibly writing every day, putting in a thousand words a day (or more, or less, depending upon the person) and keeping up a strong and steady pace. Me? I resort to sprinting. No new words all week, and then five thousand all in one night. A part of me wishes I could write like the others (schedule-wise), but I know I can't fight my nature. I need a deadline, and then I need to write to it. This isn't anything new; it's just cool to be surrounded by other writers and actually watch them go about their steady pace every day. It's fun to watch.

I'm curious to see if "Diffusions" has any redeeming qualities at all. Tune in tomorrow....