[Clarion West 2001: some thoughts in closing]

It's been just a bit over a week since Clarion West 2001 came to a close. Before I get on with my usual online journal activities, I wanted to share a few parting thoughts for those who have been following the saga of CW2k1.

First, there's the issue of the journal, itself. In general, daily online Clarion journals are discouraged, primarily because of the *potential* for causing disruption among your peers, and also because time spent writing a journal is time not spent writing your fiction. Nonetheless, every year, at least one or two fools in each of the Clarion classes chooses to keep an online journal. I've never been one to shirk from a foolish endeavor.

Writing time is a funny thing for me; the mental resources I spend journaling is altogether different from energy I would spend writing fiction, writing a shopping list, or reading, researching, or whatever. I know this isn't true for everybody, but it is for me. I also find that I work best up against a deadline; I'm not going to write an extra hour a day simply because I'm not spending that hour writing in my journal (be it my online or my private journal). Rather, I'm going to write most when I'm up against my deadline, and any time I might have "saved" by scuttling my journal would be time ultimately spent on other useless activities, like sleeping or conversing.

But, the first concern -- about alienating one's peers -- is a trickier issue. I chose to address it by not going into details about the full Clarion experience if only because many of the stories I might choose to relate here are not entirely mine to share. "More on that in a moment," as one of my fellow Clarionites would say.

Also at issue is the fact that we tend to make assessments on a daily basis that can come off as judgements -- about how this story was a chore to read or that comment during critique was unwarranted cruelty, or about how one story was brilliant or how thoughtful someone was to do the dishes that everyone else ignored. In an effort to not alienate my peers, I tried not to make public those assessments which could portray others in a negative light. I have no idea whether I succeeded in this endeavor. And I'm well aware that I, too, had my less-than-wonderful moments as a Clarionite.

That said, I think that my journal may have come off a bit drier than I prefer as a result of this kind of self-censorship. This has been more of a catalog of events, with not as much interpretation or emotional connection as I'd like. Anyone who has read the essays that came earlier in this journal will note that even when I'm talking about technical matters, it all boils down to how those matters affect *people*.

Usually, me. :)

I hope this journal has been a service to those readers who are interested in getting a glimpse inside. I know that I certainly found previous Clarion journals helpful when I was preparing to attend this year.

So, now that all is done, I'd like to close by saying a little bit about what's been left unsaid.

Clarion West 2001 was not the proverbial "boring Clarion". I know that a few classes, both from East and West, have occasionally earned that title, and they wear it with pride (justifiably). What does that title mean? As I understand it, the title is conferred upon (or assumed by) a Clarion class that had little in the way of trauma, romantic entanglements or romantic disintegrations, or other behavior that might be considered exceptionally exciting or explosive. Usually, "boring Clarion" is meant in a good way; a life changing event, to be sure, but not a particularly traumatic one.

Clarion West 2001 was probably not one of the more explosive classes, either. For all that did happen, I think that potential blow-ups were generally contained and the participants came through as a very cohesive group. We did okay with our non-boringness, and I'm sure that this is partly because of the makeup of this group and partly because of the practiced hands administrating the program.

But let's be frank: the pressure was high, and there were some interesting changes both adding to and resulting from the tension. For example, I am aware of two romantic pairings during the six weeks, I am aware of two relationships that were fundamentally jeopardized during the six weeks, there were at least two jobs sacrificed on the Clarion West alter, and then there were deaths in the family, disappearing roommates, and other sorts of personal tragedies and challenges that reached in from the outside to affect our world views. None of us were immune to this kind of exposure.

When tragedy struck, my fellow Clarionites supported each other. When good news came in, we all shared in the joy. Cliques formed, dissolved, and then new ones formed and dissolved.

When all is said and done (as, alas, is the conclusion to which we now draw), the six week pressure cooker that is Clarion West turned the 17 of us into an odd sort of family. I found it prudent not to comment publicly as some of the stickier dramas were playing out within our group, but the fact remains that the events both good and bad helped to shape us into the kind of family which, I believe, has an excellent chance of doing great things and of sticking together along the way. This may be one of the greatest assets of the Clarion experience, in that it not only helps to improve your writing, become more familiar with the writing community, and allow you to work with some of the best instructors available, but it also enables you to forge close bonds with sixteen other people who will be an important part of your support network for the rest of your life.

And, so, if you are considering a writing workshop like Clarion, Clarion West, or Odyssey, I say: Go for it! If you're reading this having already been accepted into such a program, congratulations! Go forth with an open mind while staying true to yourself. If you are a fellow Clarionite from any year, East or West, I am honored to join your ranks.

As for Leslie, Neile, Karen, and the other administrators and volunteers who helped run this year's Clarion West: Thank you for running such a fine program! You guys were great.

Octavia, Brad, Nalo, Connie, Ellen, and Jack: I learned much from each one of you. Now, whether it was what you intended to teach is another matter, I suppose. :) Thank you for your support, encouragement, and instruction. I can only hope to "do you proud" in the years to come.

Ari, Avi, Ben, Carla, Emily, ibi, Karen, Kiini, Linda, Ling, Michael, Patrick, Raymund, Sean, Stephanie, and Susan -- I couldn't have asked for better classmates. I wish you all the best of success, and look forward to working with you in the months and years ahead.

We now return you to our irregularly scheduled journal, already in progress.

END