In response to Part I of this essay, my friend Tyrean notes that the changes that come with having a baby are more impactful than the changes that come with getting a driver's license, et al, because they affect your life 24 x 7. There is something to be said for this.

Once you have a baby (and choose to provide for its care), each aspect of your life changes. Your daily activities may or may not change, but they need to be planned for with a new element in mind. Your prior method of scheduling time goes right out the window, and basic tasks such as eating, working, and especially sleeping are profoundly altered by the requirements of your new responsibility.

When I had been told this kind of thing, as an expectant parent, my internal response was, "Yes, I know this." And I also knew that living it would be different from knowing it, and that has also proven to be true. Knowing beforehand that your daily routine is about to be altered forever has a different quality of experience from dealing with the reality when it happens.

All well and good. But the same profound shifts have occurred several times in my life, as I'm sure they have in your, dear Reader. When I went away for college, I left my home town and my parents' house. Everything in my life changed profoundly: planning meals, managing my time for even the simplest tasks, and even my sleep schedule were profoundly impacted *every day*. Gradually the newness wore off, of course, but I still eat-sleep-act-think without parental interference. (This, some may argue, may not be such a good thing, given the photographic evidence.)

Getting married profoundly affected my life, as it may have yours. I don't think I went through the emotional swings that many of my friends have described -- rather, I did all that before making the decision to commit. Still, all kinds of decision-making were impacted because most decisions I made/make would/will have the added dimension of how they affect this other person in my life.

Moving to Russia, moving back, working full-time for a small business, going to grad school, working full-time for a behemouth corporation, working full-time for a high-profile dot com, going to Clarion West, etc., all marked major changes in my life. Certainly, some have been more profound than others, and some have had more long-lasting effects than others.

My central thesis, however, is that *whatever* the nature of the change, any well-balanced person requires these profound changes from time to time. Some changes are thrust upon us (like when we are forced at gunpoint to attend kindergarden), are accidental outgrowths of our own decisions (like becoming a paraplegic because you chose to get behind the wheel one day while under the influence), or are planned and desired landmarks (like deciding to go to college, get married, get a job, have a baby, whatever).

There is also a necessity for our lives to experience *retrenchment*. A prolonged period of stability, where we deliberately reduce risks and expose ourselves to less likelihood for change. This is certainly a physiological necessity, although we all obviously have different thresholds for how long and how stable such periods must be before we feel ready to push ourselves toward change again. The point is, we cannot live effectively if everything always changes. But we nonetheless require periods of change in order to advance our lives.

[I have a theory about the interrelations between fear and ennui as biological imperatives to encourage change and, thereby, growth and advancement. Would you like to hear it?]

I admire my grandparents, who embraced change in their lives not only as they advanced throughout their careers and their family life, but also beyond retirement. They are constantly trying new things, expanding their horizons, and staying involved in their lives. I think it is their ability to embrace change that has helped to keep them alive and alert and active this long.

A friend of mine picked up stakes and headed for New Mexico and (shudder) grad school after a profitable career at a major software concern where he was able to work without having completed his undergraduate degree. He has left the known (with all the good and bad that it includes) deliberately and chosen to make a change. That change now involves major house reconstruction, dinosaur digs, and developing patentable radar technologies.

Change is not for everyone at all times; it's certainly not for *me* at all times. But profound change is necessary from time to time for those who want to grow; who want to participate in their own lives. Having babies or dropping your career to go to grad school or getting married or even moving out of your parents' house may not be something you, my kind Reader, are interested in doing. But if you find yourself feeling a little bit of ennui, if your life seems to be just futile, allow me to suggest that you make a change.

You may discover that the change you made needs to be refined a bit (read: mistakes will happen), but at least you'll be participating in your life.

[end soapbox]