So, you've no doubt seen those bumper stickers which proclaim that "A mind is like a parachute: it only works when it's open." Well, it occurs to me that there are other ways a mind is like a parachute:

* It only works when you're travelling at outrageous speeds

* It only works when it's folded properly

* It's very stringy

* People only use it as a last ditch effort to avoid becoming a bloody pulp

* It's function is to slow you down when you're already moving

* They both are effective at capturing hot air

and the number one way in which a mind is like a parachute:

* grade-schoolers sometimes pull them taut and bounce kickballs on them.