One of the local phone companies out where I live is now called "Qwest". It seems like every phone company I've ever heard of has changed its name within the past few years -- except for ATT, I think... do they still exist? -- and I couldn't even tell you who Qwest used to be. So I guess their marketing is doing a good job of making me forget that they used to be somebody else.

As part of their effort to reinvent themselves, however, their ads are trying to convince me that they are competent (the company they used to be never was, and I've seen nothing to convince me that they are now) and that they provide excellent service (see previous parenthetical aside). On this note, their ads have not succeeded.

You see, for months they would end their television commercials with an allegedly "real life" customer service rep exclaiming, "That's our spirit of service in action!"

Now, when I type that out, that looks reasonable, doesn't it? But when they *read* that slogan, it sounded more like this:

"That's our spirit of service: inaction!"

A palpable pause between "service" and "in action", while "in action" was slurred together to sound like one word.

A few weeks ago, the ads changed. The alleged "real life" company rep now reads the line as if it were punctuated thusly:

"That's our spirit of service. In? (pause) Action."

Really. A lilt on the word "in" as if it were a question. Followed by a long pause. Followed by "action." Of course, this only draws painful attention to the problem with their tag line in the first place.

But at least they are figuring it out, right?

No.

I swear to you, I just heard a new ad for them a few nights ago, and the company spokesmodel informed us all that Qwest offers "the best in security."

(connect the dots here)