I've mentioned in the past that Alexander likes to be a big brother to little Nolan. Being a big brother is bringing out in him a tendency we'd noticed earlier -- that of occasionally being a "minder." It's interesting to watch this play out.

When I say that he can sometimes be a "minder," what I mean is that he will sometimes insist that other kids (or sometimes even his parents) follow The Rules. Here's an example from a few days ago: Alex and another kid are fighting over a toy at the playground. The parent of the other child is nowhere to be found -- these kinds of disputes don't seem to happen as frequently when parents of both children are present and attentive -- so I step over and announce to both kids that the toy is going to have a time out since they are unable to work it out between them. (I do not generally concern myself with "who started it" or "who was there first" unless there's an obvious bully -- that's all part of the negotiation process that the kids should/will work out.) The two eventually cease their fighting and move on to play elsewhere, this time more cooperatively.

Then a third child arrives at the playground and proceeds to play with the toy that had previously been in dispute. "No!" says Alex. "That has a time out!" He doesn't physically interfere, but his own toy is forgotten while he keeps insisting that the newcomer leave the first toy alone.

(And no, Daddy doesn't let that continue.)

He is not generally bossy, but rather he *occasionally* finds it appropriate to reiterate The Rules. In play situations, I haven't seen many other kids his age do this (although there've been a few), and I'm sure that all kids probably do this from time to time, albeit situationally. But what I find particularly interesting is how this Minder behavior is more pronounced in Alex with regard to his little brother.

Around the house lately, if we tell Nolan to do (or not do) something -- be it to play more gently with Mommy's Waterford crystal or to stop banging on the walls with Daddy's good claw hammer -- Alex repeats the command almost instantly and at least twice as loud. If Alex spies Nolan doing something that he (Alex) knows neither of them should be doing (like, say, drinking the Clorox), he'll immediately jump up and shout, "No, Nolan!"

--this brings to mind the one drawback that we'd considered about giving Nolan his name. A friend had suggested that with such a name, she wouldn't be able to help but call him "No-No Nolan." Because coming up with the name had been such a difficult process, we decided that it would be easier to get a new friend.

But I digress.

Regardless of whether this behavior of Alex's is typical for a big brother, I don't necessarily see anything bad about it. Granted, we do try to correct him -- as totalitarian dictators, we cannot have the proletariat believing that they are somehow part of the chain of command at Casa Rousselle, and Alex is too young to have read any Ayn Rand just yet, anyway. But it's interesting to see him experimenting with exerting authority within the confines of what he understands to be The Rules. Alexander may not always follow The Rules, but he's well aware of their existence.

And, insofar as Alex is in a "Why?" phase right now, it's also interesting to hear him volunteer explanations to his little brother. "No, Nolan! Don't pull on that! You could get hurt!"

As good exploitative parents, we have occasionally turned his Big Brotherness to our advantage. My apologies right now to non-parents who might be squeamish about such topics, but toilet training is an excellent example. During the toilet training process, closing the door is one of the activities of least concern. As Alexander is doing better with the other steps, however, we've been able to add this last step by invoking his role as a Minder:

"Hey, Alex, don't forget to close the door so that Nolan doesn't come in and play in the toilet water."

"Okay!"

Getting him to close the door out of politeness is a hit or miss prospect. But as a Big Brother, he's happy to do it out of concern for Nolan.

My entry here has been focusing on Big Brother as a keeper of The Rules, but to be fair, I need to mention that Alexander is a good brother all around. They play well together, and Alex is often offering to "help" Nolan with new tasks, such as opening presents, blowing out birthday cake candles, etc.

...and if there are any parallels here between Big Brotherhood and the role of government, I'm sure they are just coincidental.